SRT: REAL LIFE EXAMPLES
V-DAY HORROR
It was Valentine’s Day. Joan and Dave, new clients, had been married for less than a year. Things were going fairly well with a few hiccups we were working on. As she awaited his return from work, she pictured cards, Godivas, champagne, as her mother received.
He came home, winced and tossed her a bag of caramels he got at the 1.25 Store.
She stared in shock, flew into anger, yelling: “THIS IS IT?!”
Dave, offended, responded with “Whoa! I just got home and –
Joan interrupted: “You shouldn’t have bothered … obviously you don’t really give much of a damn about me.”
And they were off. The fight continued, ruined the day, the next day and even the week. They either yelled or kept their distance. The event, even when supposedly forgiven remained like a rank lemon in their mouths, wafting around at the next session.
As this was a pattern it was tearing at the fabric of their marriage.
In session with SRT, we looked at the Incorrect Thoughts or Presumptions; in this case, a MINDSET of UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. She tends to hear and see most things through this lens of this Mindset. WE MOVED ON FROM THERE, AND CONTINUE TO INCREASE HIS UNDERSTANDING CHANGE HER REACTIONS.
IT’S ME
Phil has been an account executive with a large national corporation for four years. He’s bright with ideas but hesitates to put them forward as boss is super bright and direct. She’s fairly friendly but he came into session very upset as she hadn’t responded to his “hello” with her usual enthusiasm for several days. He was a wreck .
In session, with SRT, we looked at the Incorrect Thoughts or Presumptions; in this case, a MINDSET OF PERSONALIZATION. “IT’S MY FAULT, I’M A LOSER.” PHIL HEARS AND SEES MOST THINGS THROUGH THIS INCORRECT LENS. WE MOVED ON FROM THERE, WITH PHIL FIRST SEEING THIS IS NONSENSE AND FORCING HIMSELF TO LOOK AT OTHER REASONS HIS BOSS MIGHT BE PRE-OCCUPIED, USING REALITY AS A BASE, AS HE DID NOTHING WRONG. WE COULD NOW CONTINUE TO INCREASE HIS UNDERSTANDING AND CHANGE HIS REACTIONS.
MAD MAD MAD
George’s brother Richard got him a car battery, then later asked “Well, did you get it to work?” That was it! George flew into a rage.
“WHY ARE YOU ASKING? AGAIN, YOU’RE CRITICIZING!! I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF IT AND YOU.”
Yes, George has an “anger problem.” MAD is his MINDSET. HE INCORRECTLY HEARS AND SEES MOST THINGS THROUGH THIS LENS.
As it turned out the brothers had long assigned themselves MINDSETS INCORRECTLY, PUSHING EACH OTHER’S BUTTONS EVER FURTHER,
EVEN WITHOUT CAUSE OR DELIBERATION.
In session, with SRT, we looked at the Incorrect Thoughts or Presumptions; in this case, a MINDSET OF IMPULSIVE ANGER. GEORGE HEARS AND SEES MOST THINGS THROUGH THIS INCORRECT LENS. WE MOVED ON FROM THERE, WITH GEORGE FIRST SEEING HOW HE JUMPS, AND LOOKING AT WAYS TO CALM AND FIND OUT WHAT’S GOING ON.
WE COULD NOW CONTINUE TO INCREASE HIS UNDERSTANDING AND CHANGE HIS REACTIONS.